The holidays can be painful. While others are speaking of Christmas presents, family gatherings, and traditions, some have one goal: get to January. The holidays can remind us of the loss of loved ones. The pain can sometimes be overwhelming. I feel for you friends. I understand the pain and frustration. It is in the middle of these hard times that I am reminded of some lessons I am learning from death and tragedy.
- Sometimes this life is hard and unfair. I get the whole “life is good” movement. I even bought the T-shirt. Truth: life is not always good. It was good at one time. Then Adam and Eve ushered in sin (Genesis 3) and we have been paying for it ever since.
- I miss heaven. As I grow old I find myself a little jealous for people who get to experience what I long for. The presence of our great creator and the absence of mourning, crying, and pain. How awesome it will one day be.
- Stop taking people for granted. I am a task master. I love to get things done. Problem is the things I accomplish are way less important than the people surrounding me. In the end it is people who count. Spend time with them. Have a long spiritual conversation over coffee. Text the long lost friend. Reach out. The tasks will always be there, the people may not.
- God is still God. In the struggles, it is natural to question the motives of God. Did you allow this? Why did this happen? Why did you not stop this? I do not know the answers to these questions. But I know that God is still God, even if I cannot comprehend why things happen.
- God is still loving. This is a tough pill to swallow. In the middle of a hellish situation, I find myself asking God how his loving nature can allow such things. Yet I know this is a broken wold. I know it rains on the haters and lovers of God (Mt 5:45). Is it unfair? Perhaps, but fairness is not an indication of a lack of love.
- Tragedy has the ability to destroy my heart. For the past (difficult) season in my life, I have been leaning on Phillipians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. The promise in this passage is that God will guard our hearts and mind with peace. I wish the passage said that God would heal, change, re-arrange, and raise the dead. Instead he promises peace. In my battle for peace and lower anxiety, I offer multiple prayers and requests, all laced with thanksgiving. Does it work? To be honest it is a battle but there are stretches of peace in the middle of some incredibly difficult times. I pray the same for you.
This world is hard. We are not in heaven. Jesus said . . . “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble.But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – Jn 16:33 Friends, we will have trouble. We will not often have answers. We have something better. One greater than the world. One who gives peace. One in us. And in this life we continually remind ourselves that our creator is with us. Even if the situations of life lie to us. Especially when the situations of life lie to us. In your tragedy, may you offer prayers and petition laced with thanksgiving. As a result, may you experience peace in the dark valleys of life. One day may we all be welcomed into a heaven void of every evil thing and filled with the glory of the one who created us, loved us, and walked with us through our tragedies. Maybe then we will understand the “why” behind our pain. And perhaps it will add to the volume of our praise. Until then, great peace to you.
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david ford
17 Dec 2015Thank u so much these kinds words which were very helpful during this unbearable times. Ive been full of whys and how comes with no answers . I ve stop trying to ask why and just been telling God how much i love him. Which has help but its a daily battle. With the lost of a very young man who just became a dad, a very proud one of our grandson.
Roxy
24 Dec 2015Thanks Scot. I am glad you wrote this and I read it. I lost 3 very dear people in 2014 and one was on this very morning. I just kept feeling like I was getting punched each time. God has been so good to me this year, even in Grace\’s absence. He is good. I love your last sentences:
\”Maybe then we will understand the “why” behind our pain. And perhaps it will add to the volume of our praise.\” I\’m sure this is true.
We miss you guys. Praying all is well in the Longyear household. We are still searching for God\’s next steps for us in the Bertsch household. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Scot
24 Dec 2015I know it is tough. Hope there is some joy in the season – even in the middle of loss.
Cat Wilke
8 Jan 2016Amen, Scot !! I have suffered much loss and gone thru quite a bit of tragedy and you speak wise words into those situations. Even though my walk with the Lord has not always been there (walked away in my 20s, came back in my 30s), somehow I knew God had my back, was on my side and was working for my good (whether I consciously knew it or not). His words thru Job and Ruth have bolstered me and continue to daily. I sent this message to my husband, Scott, hoping it bolsters him. Long story on his current suffering, but he really has it bad during the holidays, and for good reasons. I originally read this when you first posted it (and forwarded it then) and just re-read it today while looking around your website. Thank you so much for this !!