King of Pranks

Amber Gentry has been around MCC and exchange long enough to know better. She came first as a college student and now is a part time Children’s Ministry Staffer while she works on her masters. Amber is a wonderful young lady with one glaring fault: She picked the wrong person to prank. Enter Jack Fox. Jack is one of my best friends and the Associate Pastor of Exchange. One day, Amber decides to fill Jack’s office with cups full of water. Actually 364 cups, 100 straws, and 4 gallons of water. She thought it was funny. I thought it suicidal. Doing something like this to Jack is like walking up to Dog the Bounty Hunter, kicking him in the groin and thinking that nothing will happen.

So Jack waits, and plots. And waits. The return prank, and beginning of the avalanche, was Thursday night. Jack was finishing his artist reception at The Coffee Ground (side note: Jack’s art is flat out groovy). Jack, myself, and Jeff Gormong instructed Amber to head down to the Terre Haute parking Garage and wait outside for Jody to show up with name tags for Blues Fest staff. Amber went, evidently not realizing that the Blues Fest was TWO DAYS AWAY. About 40 minutes of sitting in front of the parking garage, she figures something is up. Mess with Jack, you mess with his blokes. We instruct her that it is just the beginning.

The next afternoon, Amber shows up at my house. “Scot, my car is making a strange noise.” I’m thinking “Of course it is Amber, 2 days ago Jack put a whistler in the tailpipe.” Maybe you have seen these. Stick it in a muffler and when the car is running in sounds like a flock of chirping birds. Delicious.

I look at her. “Really Amber, let’s take a look. Hey, and while we are looking, Mariah will take some pictures for a school project.”

Nice work Mariah.

Amber backs her car in my front yard, fires it up, and we hear some whistlin’. I told her I was going to call my friend Larry who knows everything about cars. Speed dial to Jack.

“Yea, Amber, Larry [Jack] says to look for a filter.” I’m on the phone, directing Amber.

Amber has her head under the front bumper, rear of the car, door jams, just about everywhere. No filter. Ah, such a mystery. After some hunting and some advice from my phone-a-friend, I mysteriously find the whistler, ahem, filter. Amber looks at it. “What is that?” She asks.

“Well,” I said, picking up the whistler, “This is the filter but it has slipped out of your muffler and into your tailpipe. It has to be in the muffler to supply enough back pressure to the engine. Since it has slipped out of the muffler, your pressure is less and that is not good. You will be alright for a bit and the car will seem like it is running fine, but you will have to get it fixed or black smoke will start rolling out and it will be bad on the engine.

A blank look from Amber. I continue with the drama under the suggestion of Jack.

“There is a tool that can reinsert this plug into your muffler, but I don’t have it. Go to Auto Zone right now. Take this filter (the whistler) in and tell them you need it put back in your muffler with their special tool.”

Amber drives off. I call Jack and let him know she is headed to Auto Zone. Perfect.

Jack calls Auto Zone and explains the situation to the first guy who answers the phone. After some talk, our new friend at Auto Zone says “I’m in. I’ll milk this. Oh, got to go, She just walked in.”

Amber walks in and explains the situation to another employee who just seems confused as to what she is trying to say. Our hero (an older gentleman with glasses), walks over to Amber and says “Let me see that.” A pause. A look. Then the clincher. Mr Auto Zone’s words are simple and to the point. “Jack Fox. Maryland Community Church. Better stop messing with him.”

Thank your Mr Auto Zone guy, our new hero. May your engine never run hot and your muffler never whistle.

[tags] muffler whistler, amber gentry, jack fox, prank, pranks, auto zone[/tags]

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