Scammed by a 7 year old

The tooth fairy. Real? As Mariah was growing out of the tooth fairy stage I would give her special gifts. She would put a tooth under her pillow. In the middle of the night I would take the tooth and replace it with a can of green beans. Another tooth and the prize was a block of Velveeta cheese. It was a gentle way to break the news. Better than “Hey, hate to tell you but the tooth fairy is fake. Deal with it”

Enter Madison.

Madison is turning eight next month. She has been loosing teeth and has been putting them under her pillow. A little money here and there. She has been diligent with the system. If she lost a tooth and couldn’t find it, she put a note under her pillow. A couple times we would forget that she put the tooth (or note) under her pillow. Drama the next morning. The usual result was a monetary bonus from the forgetful tooth fairy. Steph and I thought she was a little old, but you hate to see your youngest grow out of this stage.

She lost another tooth Friday. She put it under her pillow Saturday night. The tooth fairy gave her $1 and a bottle of salad dressing from the pantry. Time to break it to her easy.

Tonight (Sunday) as I was putting her to bed, she said, “Dad, do you know what the tooth fairy gave me?”

I felt that it was time to come clean. Time to move my daughter from the world of little girl to young lady. The truth is sometimes painful, but necessary. My baby is growing up. She needs to know that life is not all fairy tales. I had to be the Dad.

A deep breath.

“Yes, Madison. The tooth fairy got you $1 and some salad dressing from the pantry.”

“How do you know it came from the pantry?” she asked.

“Madison, do you believe in Santa Clause?” I knew that she didn’t.

She chuckles, “No.”

“Do you believe in the Easter Bunny?”

Chuckle. “No.”

“Madison, do you believe in the tooth fairy?”

More chuckles. Lots of them. “No.”

I looked at her. “How long have you NOT believed in the tooth fairy.”

Chuckle. Chuckle. “Since I lost my second tooth.”

“How many teeth have you lost? I asked.

Chuckles to laughter. “Seven.”

Seven minus two equals five.

Five scams.

Five scams from a seven year old.

Five.

I’m speechless.

And broke.

[tags]tooth, tooth fairy, Velveeta, scam, kids, funny[/tags]