Maddy and the Bear

The conversation:

Scot:  Madison, stand behind the fence post so I can take your picture. <Maddy moves behind fence post>

Madison (in typical dramatic fashion):  But, Dad, what if a bear comes out to bite my leg off?

Scot:  Madison, no bear is going to come out of the woods and bite your leg off.

<sound of snapping twigs>

Madison: Dad, there IS a bear!

Maddy and the Bear from longyear on Vimeo.

This post has 6 comments

  1. Reminds me of that scene from Royal Tenenbaums.

    Son: \”Dad stop shooting me you\’re on my team!\”
    Dad: \”There are no teams son!\”

  2. I\’m beginning to think God enjoys making us look like we don\’t know what we\’re talking about – especially in front of ours kids!

  3. Hahaha. That\’s great. The best part is that no one got their leg eaten by a bear, though. ;P

    God bless,
    ~Scott

  4. But, it would have made a great blog IF the bear had come closer…

    Maybe even a good sermon illustration! Still might be one of those!

  5. Yea, I didn\’t want to go into all the detail, but the bear charged after my entire family. I dove in front of them while kicking the bear with my left foot and sending him spinning. This evidently upset the beast as he rose on his hind legs and came at me all Cujo-like. We wrestled for what seemed like hours. Somewhere in the tussle, the beast had ripped my right arm completely off. Blood was everywhere. The bear had me pinned. His jaws opened as he prepared for the final bite of my juggler. He let out a chilling roar and dripped sliava on my limp body. In a final swift ninja-like move, I kicked him in the groin. With the force of the kick, he gained a few feet of altitude. I caught him with the spread hand of my one remaining arm. As I stood to my feet (still holding the bear overhead), he gave me a \”Oh no you dee-ent\” look. I then threw him over the tree tops. He landed with a thud and later rose and whimpered away like a beat chiuawa. I gathered my missing arm, and stitched it back on with my shoelace.

    Then Chuck Norris came out of the woods and asked for my autograph.

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